2 YEAR CANCERVERSARY

April 17, 2020

Today is my cancerversary! Its been 2 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Some would think… why the hell would you want to celebrate this day lol. Even my husband said, “Kel, I want to forget about this day” and I totally get it… It was literally the worst day of our lives. BUT I explained to him that its a big deal because… each year that goes by it decreases my risk of returning. And thats something to celebrate! So we watched comedy, ate cheezits and drank wine… like 2 very large glasses of wine. I was determined to try and get this blog completed but I am not sure…. I am currently squinting one eye closed and have dosed off like 10 times hahaha!! I decided to copy and paste my post from instagram and I will follow up tomorrow 🙂

Insta post: April 16th ♥ The day I found out I had breast cancer. Today is my 2 year cancerversary👏 Its hard to believe what I went through… I looked back at pictures today and for a second was like “aww poor girl” ..lol as if it wasn’t me I was looking at. I fought so hard.. not only physically but mentally. I battled depression… a depression I didn’t even realize I was in at the time. I pushed myself away from friends and family. I guess it was easier to do that then pretend to smile and be happy all the time. I had absolutely no confidence. I often found myself looking down or wearing hats because I didn’t want people to see my face. I found myself in parking lots balling my eyes out in my car. I punched my pillow and screamed at the top of my lungs multiple times. Despite the enormous amount of support and love from family and friends I still felt so alone. After treatment was over I struggled even more (which fellow survivors warned me about). Just because treatment is over doesn’t mean life just goes back to normal which was really hard to grasp… I just wanted to be ME again so badly. And was scared I never would… I went to therapy and did things that I thought might bring happiness… but nothing seemed to help. The one and only thing I found helpful was TIME and patience. After waiting… my smile and laughter is finally back. Not the fake one I wore the past 2 years.. the REAL deal!! I finally want to be around family and friends (which is pretty ironic considering the circumstances right now) lol! But that’s ok. I’ve waited a long time to feel like myself and I’ll wait a little longer to share it with the people I love. I may or may not be crying right now… bahah! Love you all!

KPowPow ❤️💗❤️💗❤️