Surgery was intense..

Leading up to surgery I felt more nervous than usual. Scared that something might go wrong… I knew it was going to be a 10-12 hour surgery and maybe that’s why I was freaking out…

My sister and I went shopping for PJs at Marshall’s a few nights prior to surgery… everything had bows… like everywhere we looked! We found a sweatsuit that said “good things are coming” on the back of the sweatshirt and “good vibes” on the front of the shorts. I mean that has to be a sign everything was going to be OK… right?

Dropping the kids off at my in-laws the night before surgery felt heavy. I cried and didn’t want to say goodbye. I must have hugged them no lie 20 times before I left.

Thursday, July 10th

My husband and I woke up at 3:15AM. I took my last antibacterial cleanser shower. Put on the sweatsuit and headed to Dartmouth Hitchcock Hospital in Lebanon. As we were on the highway we saw 2 billboard signs for Dartmouth Hitchcock… I said to Jamie “that’s weird”! We listened to country music and I was able to get in a good head space.

We arrived and met my Mom, Dad and Sister. I knew this day would be harder on them than me. I mean for me it’s going to be the longest nap of my life. But not for them and that seemed unfair. I checked in and shortly after said my goodbyes and headed into the pre-op room with Jamie. We took some photos… they gave me a Johnny and slipper socks to wear. Placed an IV and the nurses asked a bunch of pre-op questions. My surgeon Kari came in and I gave her a big hug. She said her part will be short… maybe an hour or 2 and then Dr. Nigrinys part will take up the remainder of time. He came in shortly after and marked up my chest. I said goodbye to Jamie and off I went…

The next thing I remember is waking up in a large room with lots of monitors. It was around 7PM. They said surgery lasted 10ish hours. I felt really out of it. I remember saying things I would typically never say (like calling my Mom an idiot)! Ahhhh I’m so sorry Mom lol! My Mom and Sister thank god thought it was funny! At that time they were giving me IV Dilaudid and clearly it was way too strong. I remember taking photos with everyone and then being transferred to the ICU. A much smaller room… like barely can walk around small. The nurses kept saying I had the worst room… no windows can’t breathe kind of room.

Things went bad… quickly

Around 12PM… I woke up startled… my heart was pounding out of my chest. I quickly looked at the monitors and my heart rate was in the 160-170s, my BP was elevated and my EKG looked abnormal… SHIT! “Jamie get help NOW”! “Kelly it’s OK, you’re OK”, “No.. I’m not”. People started piling into the room. I started feeling short of breath… and short of breath turned quickly into not being able to breathe gasping for air. My throat felt like it was closing… As I’m typing this tears are falling…. It was the scariest moment of my entire life. I thought this was it. This is how I’m going to die. They quickly put an oxygen mask on my face. I held it tight and closed my eyes. I slowly was able to breathe again. I was terrified… what is happening. The ICU doctor came in and I described my symptoms. Everyone just assumed anxiety… I don’t know how many people asked “do you have history of anxiety”. I was pissed… I wanted to scream NO at the top of my lungs!! I was asleep and woke up to these symptoms! Something is wrong!! The ICU doctor quickly ordered a stat CT scan. The doctor said he saw multiple blood clots in my lungs and wanted to start IV Heparin immediately. He said that this would be a long journey and I would need to be on blood thinners for months. He said the clots were probably moving into the lungs when I experienced these symptoms. What the actual F*CK!!! Will it happen again? Are there more clots that are coming? Do I have a large clot in my leg (a DVT) that’s breaking off and traveling to my lungs. It’s moments like these where I wish I wasn’t a nurse. I wish I didn’t know so much. That clots are life threatening and starting IV Heparin right after a major surgery is a huge bleeding risk. I felt hopeless. The next few hours were an absolute blur. My husband could tell the story better than me. I was TERRIFIED. The nurse was about to start the IV Heparin when there was talk about how the radiologist read the results and felt like the “clots” were artifact. COMMON GUYS! REALLY?! There was a team of like 5 doctors so really confusing of who said what. But this particular ICU doctor should not have read the results!! The radiologist requested a second CT scan but this time he wanted me to raise my arms over my head (something I was not supposed to do after surgery but was willing to go through the pain to get answers). I remember kissing Jamie goodbye as they took me away for the 2nd CT scan. I waved to my Mom, Dad and Sister who were in the waiting room… I told them I was OK (I was not OK). I remember it being super painful lying on the board flat with my arms over my head. My stomach felt so tight and I thought my abdominal incision was going to rip open. I prayed to God… I asked him to send down my angels (my angels are my 4 Grandparents and my Grandpa… who is Jamies Grandpa but he always felt like mine too). I have a handful of other angels I thought of in that moment. I talked to God the entire time begging for him to keep me safe. After the 2nd CT Jamie, my mom, dad and sister were all in the room with me. I was so scared my heart was going to pound out of my chest and I would stop breathing again. I asked that I could just be with Jamie. I just needed the least stimuli as possible to keep me calm. The ICU doctor who told me I had clots never showed his face the remainder of the night. It was another doctor who came in (I think the attending doctor) and said the radiologist confirmed on the 2nd CT that there are no clots in your lungs. OMG… what a relief. I was so happy but honestly SO UPSET. That doctor was about to treat me for blood clots that didn’t exist! Which would have been so dangerous! Breathe Kelly Breathe…

Friday: Day 1 post op

I still wanted answers… why is this happening! I had another episode early in the morning and another one around lunch time. They thought possibly a fluid shift and maybe dehydration. They ordered extra fluids which seemed to help. My Magnesium level was also low and they gave me a supplement IV dose. Most of the nurses were phenomenal! One nurse named Rachel had me breathe in lavender, played music and did deep breaths with me while I had an episode… my heart rate never went over the 120’s. Things were slowly getting better. My surgeon Kari came to visit me. It was SO GOOD to see her! I asked how surgery went and she said she didn’t see any cancer travel to the muscle. She said she did an extensive bilateral mastectomy. She said if it looked like breast tissue it was removed. She said she also grabbed some muscle just to be sure! My reconstruction surgeon also came in to see me. I talked about my episode last night (assuming he knew because he was on-call). He said no one contacted him! He was definitely upset hearing this news and said he would talk to the staff. Im pretty pissed at this point. They said they talked to him last night and got the OK to start IV heparin if needed… got the OK to raise my arms over my head. UGH! LIES! On a good note Kari and Dr. Nigriny said everything looked great! I will say they are both worth this shitshow of an ICU experience….

Saturday: Day 2 post op

They removed my Foley Catheter and expected me to pee in bed!!! The nurse gave me this weird cotton roll contraption with suctioning… she said just pee on it and the pee will get suctioned. Ummmm EWWWW no thanks haha! Of course I couldn’t do it. It was so awkward! They bladder scanned me throughout the day and my bladder felt like it was going to explode!! The nurse had to straight cath me 2 times and they finally decided to put the foley cath back in. UGH! PT worked with me and getting from the bed to the recliner was HARD. How am I ever going to be able to walk…

Sunday: Day 3 post op

The nurse removed the foley and I requested a commode (portable toilet) to try and pee. She seemed annoyed they didn’t try that from the very beginning. I agreed and sure enough was able to pee almost immediately once I sat on the commode! 🙌 I was slowly walking with a walker and doing way better than I expected. I’m ready to go home…

Monday: Day 4 post op

PT worked with me… I walked down 2 very long hallways. It felt daunting but I pushed through. I also went up and down 3 stairs! WOW… I never thought I would be able to do all of this so soon! They finally cleared me to go home🙏 Of course discharge took forever and they couldn’t find the right size bra for me 🙄 We finally left around 2PM. Jamie and I settled in at home. My in-laws brought the kids back home and I BALLED my eyes out when I saw them. I missed them SO MUCH.

Being home

Today is Thursday and it’s been 1 week since surgery!! Recliner life is the life I have been living lol. From recliner to bathroom when needed and short SLOW walks around the house. Taking meds around the clock, tired… very tired, emptying the 4 drains that hang from my body.. 2 abdomen and 2 chest. I’m giving myself lovenox injections in my thigh which I am thankful I can do as a nurse but it’s pretty strange. I’m just sitting here waiting… waiting for this recovery process to be over. It’s hard… the kids are home and I just want to play with them… give them a fun summer. And I’m stuck in this recliner. My sister has been wonderful and has taken the kids almost every day and does something fun with them! I need to remind myself that this isn’t forever and will get easier as time goes on.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I have a follow-up appointment to check drains etc. I am praying I can have them removed! I haven’t showered in 7 days… starting to smell like a pig farm lol.

Thank yous

Where do I begin? Thank you to my husband Jamie who was there holding my hand through the scariest moments of my life. Who slept sitting in a hard rolly chair next to my hospital bed. No one will truly understand what we went through that night. But we made it through… like we always do! I love you.

Thank you to my In-Laws and Sister/Brother in law for taking care of Andi and Zack while I was gone. Knowing they were in good hands made being away from them so much easier. You are always there for us no matter what and we are so grateful. Love you so much!

Mom & Dad… I know being in the hospital.. sleeping in the waiting room and hotel for 5 days took a toll on you. I’m sure it wasn’t easy with sleepless nights and seeing your daughter go through such a traumatic experience. I can’t thank you enough for staying close and by my side. Love you both so much.

Thank you to my friends and family who have been so supportive! I am so grateful for all of you 🙏

This is just a chapter of Kpows journey… not the whole story

KPOW

Oh Hey! Surgery is tomorrow!

Hey Friends!!

As most of you know already, I am having surgery TOMORROW! I can’t believe it’s here. I had little time to prepare as they told me last Thursday my surgery date. So 7 days to get all my ducks in a row. At first I was debating if the surgery was even possible because I have been experiencing edema in my lower legs/feet/ankles and was put on Lasix (a diuretic) for 7 days. My surgeon and I emailed back and forth over the weekend and she said she wanted to still proceed with surgery if I felt up for it. Honestly… I was absolutely terrified and mentally not prepared at all. In my mind I thought I had another 2 weeks to prep!!! BUT the more I thought about it…. I am so happy to say goodbye to Fred (for good this time) and get this over with!

Abdominal CT, Echo and Lab Results:

CT Scan and abdominal vessels look good!! Dr. Nigriny (my reconstructive surgeon) said the vessels are located a little higher than usual. Meaning he will need to make the incision across my belly button versus lower abdomen. The scar will be large going across my entire stomach. He asked if this was OK as it will be more noticeable. I laughed and said “well my bikini and crop top days are over so yes that is absolutely fine” LOL! I had the Echocardiogram today and that looks good too!! YAY for a healthy heart! Lab work was normal meaning the edema isn’t due to kidney or heart issues (thank goodness)! Most likely due to chemo and steroids.

Radiation Update:

I met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Brower last week. He is part of my OG team and has been with me from the very beginning. I feel like out of all of my providers he knows me the very best and I trust him 100%! I haven’t seen him since being re-diagnosed so I was anxious to pick his genius brain (he is literally the smartest man I know)! He said unless during surgery something pops up… like margins aren’t clear or there is muscle/chest wall involvement he doesn’t want to radiate again. YAYYYY!!! I was so excited and relieved to hear this news! He said he spoke with my surgeon and told her to take as much as possible especially if there is any inkling that the cancer has spread. So removing muscle/etc if needed. He said this will lessen the chance of needing radiation.

Saying Goodbye

My husband and I dropped the kids off at my in-laws tonight. We had a nice taco dinner together! It was nearly impossible to hold the tears back while saying goodbye. I probably gave them 100 hugs and kisses each. I don’t leave them often…. like ever lol… so not only will it be hard to be away for 4 days but thoughts go through your head… ya know?? So scary! Gosh I just love them so so much!!!!

Surgery Prep

I just took a shower and used the antibacterial cleanser. I will do this again tomorrow morning!! My hospital bag is pretty much ready to go! I have to be at the hospital for 6AM… meaning I will need to wake up around 3:30ish… yikes! Should probably go to bed…. like now haha! Surgery will last 8-12 hours and then I will be monitored in the ICU for 3ish days.

Thank you everyone for all your love and support!!! I am the LUCKIEST!!

PEACE OUT FRED!!!

KPOW

RANG THE BELL LOUD AND PROUD🔔

Hi Friends!!! I DID IT! I completed all 4 rounds of chemo and officially DONE with this portion of the journey! YAY!! Reading the passage before ringing the bell was so emotional …”Ring this bell 3 times well, its toll to clearly say, my treatments done, this course is done and I am on my way”… guys how do you read this outloud without crying!! Totally got choked up and let’s just say I didn’t just ring the bell 3 times… it was more like I rang the sh!t out of it hahaha! Lets pray this is the last chemo bell I have to EVER ring!

Lets rewind… lots of updates!

Surgeon/Plastics appts:

I met Dr. Nigriny for the first time last week! He specializes in DIEP flaps which is the reconstruction I was leaning toward having. BUT my team suggested I listen to all my options before making a final decision. Dr. Nigriny explained I basically have 3 options…. a flat closure (no boobs), DIEP flap or very small implants. If you asked me on March 4th when I found out my cancer had returned I would’ve said “chop them off and do a flat closure”. But I was also extremely angry at my boobs and it wasn’t the right time to be making such a big/life long decision! I am SO thankful I had chemo first and was able to make a more rational/less emotional decision (if that makes sense). After listening to my options I have decided to do the DIEP flap! For those that don’t know (they take tissue, fat, skin & vessels from your abdomen and create new breast). They will be half the size but I am totally fine with that! I will need a CT angiogram of my abdomen to make sure the vessels look good prior to surgery… fingers crossed for good vessels!! Surgery sounds INTENSE… 8-12 hours on the table with 3 days in the ICU 😬 I mean I’m going through hell right now so my thought is bring it on… let’s go through ALL the hell and hopefully this is all a distant memory in 2026 with new belly boobs haha! I then met with Kari quickly after seeing Dr. Nigriny. I love her so much!! She gave me THREE hugs during our visit!! She felt the DIEP flap was a great decision! She said she needs extra tissue from another area on my body anyways to fill in when she does the double mastectomy/removal of tumors. Sounds like everyone is on board with the surgery plan!

MRI Results:

Usually they wait till chemo is over but Kari decided to do an MRI now to see if the tumors are shrinking and prepare for surgery. MRI’s are my LEAST favorite imaging. My shoulders were BURNING from being over my head for an HOUR and not to mention you have to lay on your stomach with your boobs hanging in a hold hahah! And I always have the craziest face wrinkles afterwards! Anyways the following day I was able to see my results on the portal. It read “no significant change in size or kinetics”. Meaning my tumors have not changed and remain the same size. My heart sank 😢 For the past 2 months I have been through chemo HELL and it’s not working?? UGH! That night Kari called and talked to me for 20 minutes. She reassured me that sometimes the tumors will remain the same size but be “dead tumor cells”. She also explained that an MRI isn’t always accurate. She said one of her patients showed a complete response to chemo on MRI and then during surgery the tumor ended up being 9 cm in size!!! So you just never know. She also said to hold onto the fact that I feel like the tumors are shrinking! My oncologist reminded me yesterday that chemo is systemic and hopefully killing any tumor cells that could be possibly be floating around my body! So trying to stay positive!!

3 Day Chemo Fast:

Chemo side effects were absolutely BRUTAL after infusion #3. Most likely from messing up my steroid dose but I was miserable and literally cried almost every day for a week. I have heard a lot of women doing “chemo fasting” and the benefits it has including increasing the effectiveness of chemo and decreasing side effects!! I figured why not try! Especially knowing chemo side effects get worse every round so I was really nervous about this last one. I am on DAY 3 of fasting! I fasted the day before chemo, the day of and today is my last day (I can eat again at 7:30)!! Going to ease into it and start with bone broth which has low calories, lots of protein and no glucose which usually keeps you in ketosis! SO FAR I honestly feel pretty good. A little foggy and nauseous last night but not bad at ALL compared to my last infusion.

Hair update:

Cold capping is working!!! I am SO happy to say that I have kept roughly 40-50% of my hair! It is such a good feeling entering a store without people staring at me looking like I am about to croak hhahah! Minus the mask I have to wear but they probably just think I am sick. I am losing lots of eyebrows but thank god I did the microblading because they are super easy to pencil in and you can’t notice at all…. 100% recommend microblading before chemo! SO worth it!! Eyelashes are thinning but not too bad! It’s honestly a great feeling…. the “look good feel good” quote is spot on. My mental health has been so much better this time around looking less like a cancer patient!

Next up:

July 1st- CT Angiogram to check my abdominal vessels to make sure they look good for the DIEP procedure!
July 2nd- Meeting with Dr. Brower (my radiation oncologist) to discuss if I will need radiation or not. Kari said there was definitely a possibility.
Pending surgery date- I should find out early next week! The hope is to schedule is mid-July.

Thank you SO MUCH!!!

Words can’t express how thankful my husband and I are for all the support we have been receiving from family & friends!! Donations, meals, fundraisers, gifts, etc.!! I told my oncologist I wanted to get some shifts in at work prior to surgery and she gave me a “hell no” look lol! She said I really can’t risk getting sick prior to surgery and need to concentrate on getting stronger and staying healthy. Long story short I have no idea when I will be able to return to work. Surgery will be roughly a 6-8 week recovery and then possibly radiation. It’s just A LOT. Taking this time off would not be possible without your donations and help. We are SO GRATEFUL!!!

XO, KPOW

2 week update & Chemo Infusion #3!!

Hi friends!!! 👋

Sorry it’s been so long… let’s rewind ⏪ a bit!! I had the BEST week and a half! It’s so crazy how I can go from 0% to 100%! Here are some photos of the last few weeks!

Hydration day! This was 1 week after my second infusion!

CHEMO INFUSION #3 (Yesterday)!

Morning ritual!!! Jamie, Andi, Zack and I all wear our Breast Cancer bracelets (one of my Sisters friends made us) 🎀

Had to do an “ALL PINK” chemo day!!! 💗💗💗

The nerves were fierceeee going into this infusion. I was so anxious!! The anticipation of feeling like death just sucks! I tried holding off on the Ativan but my nerves were taking over. My husband encouraged me to take it which I am glad I did!! It helped me calm down and get through the infusion!

Obsessed with these socks my friend Johannah gifted me! Fred picked the wrong b!tch!!! 💪

For some reason hair prep for the cold cap is always hilarious!!! The conditioner bottle kept making a farting noise! My husband and I were dying 🤣 So mature!! LOL

Ready to go!!! Last photo is me receiving acupuncture in the chemo chair which is so amazing they provide that service to their patients! I also got a massage!! 💆‍♀️

ICYYYY hair chunks post cold capping!!! 🧊

I F’D up!!!

I was extremely tired during my infusion this time around (we just assumed it was from the Ativan). Although on the drive home I felt really off…. I was chatting with my sister and she said “that’s weird, you took the steroids”? And that’s when it dawned on me that I am supposed to take 2 tablets in the AM and PM the day before and the day of chemo and I only took 1 tablet. I am SO upset! I mean I’m a nurse… how did I mess this up. I’m so organized/type A with a million checklists!! UGHHH thank you chemo brain! It’s the day after chemo and I feel awful. It’s 12:45 and I’m still in bed. Severe fatigue with some nausea. I started the correct steroid dose last night when I figured it out and this morning… praying that helps! I YI YI!

Thank you everyone for doing this damn thing with me! The love and support that pours in every day is so heartwarming!! I never ever feel alone and that’s such a blessing! Love you all!

KPOW 🫶

The ugly truth

I am here to share my story.. the good, bad & ugly! Was hesitant to post this photo… I mean I look like hell hahaha!! But this is the reality of it. Chemo sucks and there are really tough days. Days lifting my head off my pillow seem difficult. I am here to be transparent and vulnerable and share it ALL with you!

Better days ahead ✨I had the energy to take an Epsom salt bath and rinse my hair with ACV this morning. I hadn’t washed it in 6 days so it was really needed… you could scrape the grease from the top of my head it was so bad lol! Still have a decent amount of hair loss each day (as you can see in the photo) but having it shorter is WAY easier to manage! No regrets with the haircut!

Ubon Thai To Go (Massaman Chicken Curry Soup) has been my “go to” meal post chemo!

This is the on body injector that goes off 27 hours after chemo! It helps keep my WBC count elevated! This thing hurts so bad when it injects! The mother of all bee stings is what I’ll name this device!

I call this my cooling superhero mask lol!! I know I have more tough days ahead but I am hopeful the good ones are not too far behind!

Thanks friends for reading my blog and being in this space with me! ❤️

KPow

Chemo Infusion #2 (HALFWAY THERE)!!!

Heyyy friends!! 👋 I’m actually finishing up my infusion right now! I have 45 minutes left. We left the house at 8:00am and will be leaving around 5:45… home by 7:00pm. Such a long day but Jamie and I agreed this time felt a little quicker!!

Started off with accessing my port and getting labs. I then met with Rachel my NP who said my labs look OK (white blood cells are elevated but that’s to be expected with the steroids and my liver enzymes are also elevated but not a concerning level)!

Here are some pics of the day!!

Added this really cute exercise band to my dome hahaha!! So much fun! A lot of women had suggested it to add pressure and hold the cap down. I did feel like my scalp was a lot colder this time!! The first 15 minutes I was like uhhhhh this hurts… real bad lol! The nurse gave me some Advil and Tylenol and that helped and the pain eventually subsided!

Overall it was a great day!! And did I mention I am HALFWAY DONE!!!!! 🙌 LETS GO!!!

KPow ❤️

2 days left until chemo!!!

Monday April, 28th–

Had an awesome beach day with my Mom, Sister and the kiddos! Collected rocks, kids played in the sand, my daughter and niece gave me a very enjoyable mud foot spa treatment LOL! Then we grabbed pizza at a woodfire place with outdoor seating!

Monday night Zacky got his first haircut at the barber! (I have been cutting his hair since he was little) 😭 He was so excited though and even got a lightening bolt on the side ⚡️

RUNNING– My goal was to go for a run before my next infusion!! So I got out there Monday nigh and ran 3 miles on the rail trail! Honestly I didn’t think this run would be possible considering weeks ago I could barely go to the bathroom and back without huffing and puffing! It felt amazzzing and a big FU to Fred! Running has always been so therapeutic and something I really enjoy. So happy and proud of myself for getting this run in!!

Tuesday, April 29th-

I spent the day with my Aunt!! We did some errands and I helped clean her house. It was a great day! Love spending time with her 🙂

BYE BYE HAIR!

I just couldn’t do it anymore… the hair loss every morning and night while combing was brutal. It would take 20-30 minutes trying to get all the knots out. I was getting pretty frustrated and having major anxiety every time I had to brush it! One of my best friends texted me and was like OK what do we need to do. I was like come over and cut it lol?? She has cut my hair in the past and does an awesome job! So of course she was there in a flash and cut it before my infusion tomorrow!!! I was so grateful!! I already feel so much lighter!! I braided it loosely last night and slept with my satin bonnet and pillow case! Took TWO minutes to brush out the next morning with little hair loss! YAY!!

2nd CHEMO INFUSION TOMORROW!!! ❤️

Let’s KPow baby!!!

Life is GOOD :)

This past week has been AMAZING!! At the beginning of the week I continued to get tired toward the end of each day and needing a nap but by Tuesday/Wednesday I was feeling 100% back to normal!! No chemo fog… nothing!! I feel so encouraged to know I will get a break in between infusions!

All the things

Once I started feeling like myself again I had this freak out moment like… OMG I only have 1 WEEK before my next infusion… I need to do ALL the things!! And that’s what I did lol… 2 rail trail walks, coffee dates, bike riding, outdoor family dinner at Putnums, watched my daughters softball practice, outdoor lunch at Sweetgreen (which was seriously the best salad I have ever eaten), and Jamie and I got to meet our friends new baby!! The snuggles were all the therapy I needed!! Such a beautiful sunny week and felt very blessed.

“Oftentimes we are not thankful for something until its gone. I find this with my health… I take it for granted until I am no longer healthy” -KPow

Stay hair stay!

Friday April 25th- 17 days post chemo and ahhhhh I definitely had some major hair loss in the shower this morning! I was doing a rice vinegar rinse and clumps were coming out. It was an “oh shit” moment. Like dang… there’s a possibility that cold capping won’t work. I then combed my hair with a wide tooth comb gently after showering and more hair fell out. Usually days 14-21 are the worst in regards to shedding and losing hair. So I guess we will see!!! Fingers crossed!!

Saturday April 26th- I refused to comb my hair today LOL! I was not in the mood to see more hair fall out. Kept it in a bun and figured I would deal with hair loss another day!! Zack isn’t feeling well. We thought it was just allergies, but he has a low grade fever and definitely feeling off. I cleaned and sanitized the entire house. PRAYING I don’t get sick. I have been trying so hard to be safe but sometimes I forget my kids are in public school and this might be an impossible task to stay healthy…

Random Haven’t had an alcohol beverage in 21 days!! I made the decision to stop drinking while going through treatment. Been pretty easy so far… my food/drink aversions are pretty strong and not craving things I would normally crave (like wine or coffee lol)! SO BAZAAR… never thought this day would come haha!

Sunday April 27th- Woke up this morning feeling like time is running out. My next infusion is this Wednesday… 3 more days!! Trying not to think about it and enjoy the time I have left!

As always thank you everyone for all your love and support!! It is so heartwarming to know I am SO FAR from being alone in this journey!

KPow

Happy Easter Weekend!

Saturday, April 19th

DAY 11 POST CHEMO- The past few days I have felt foggy and totally out of it… I thought for sure I would be in the clear after receiving IV hydration this past Wednesday! It was a little bit of a bummer, but I woke up today feeling much better!! I think I will always have chemo fog but feeling “clearer” feels great! Jamie brought the kids to a trampoline birthday party! Unfortunately, I stayed home because of my baby immune system… I need to be super careful! Getting sick could prevent me from getting my next chemo infusion or even worse be hospitalized due to my immune system not being able to fight simple viruses and bacteria! So scary!! Trying to avoid anything indoors (which has been pretty easy in the world we live in today)! Amazon, grocery delivery, drive-thru pharmacy, outdoor dining and food deliveries, etc.! We then went to my in-laws and ordered Thai (one of my FAVORITES)! Did a little easter egg hunt outside. I even had the energy to play soccer with the kids! It was a great night!

Sunday, April 20th

DAY 12 POST CHEMO- Happy Easter everyone!! I woke up this morning feeling good… not foggy at all! Phew… maybe I won’t feel like this through the ENTIRE chemo journey! We celebrated Easter at my Mom and Dads house. Did a massive egg hunt with the kids and their cousins. We hid them so well we couldn’t find the last egglol! My Mom cooked a ham dinner… I am not a huge ham fan but wow was it delicious!! I then hit the biggest wall and was exhausted by afternoon!! I napped at my parents house before going home. My niece at one point said “is Auntie Kelly OK” and my daughter replied, “Oh she’s fine… she just needs to sleep a lot”. It made me chuckle… my kids have just been so awesome and understanding that Mommy needs her rest and gets tired often. Overall, such a great Easter!!

“Easter is meant to be a symbol of hope, renewal and new life” – Janine di Giovanni

KPOW

A day I should be celebrating…

Wednesday, April 16th

Today should have been my 7 year cancerversary. I usually buy a huge pink balloon with the number of years that have passed. I hold it up high and take lots of photos! Jamie and I usually go to brunch or do something special. It’s a day where I feel like cancer is so far behind me…

Instead… I found myself on the bathroom floor with tears running down my face screaming inside… why me?! Why do I have to go through this again and go from 7 to 0!! I cried and cried…. I looked myself in the mirror and truly just felt so sad for her… she doesn’t deserve this. Shes a good person, good Mom, good wife, good friend, good nurse & caretaker…. like why!! I felt so angry and so sad in that moment. I broke…

There were 2 options… continue this pitty party on the bathroom floor or get the F up! You better believe I got off the bathroom floor, wiped my tears and decided that Fred was not going to ruin this day!! I might not be cancer free today but I am still going to celebrate beating Fred 7 years ago!! I went through so much… chemo for 5 months, double mastectomy, radiation for 12 weeks, removal of my ovaries, hormone treatment including meds and infusions. Like shit…. that is worth celebrating right?!!

Overall it ended up being a good day. I went back to the hospital for a follow-up. Jamie drove me! Lab levels dropped but that is to be expected. I met with Rachel, the Nurse Practitioner who has been following me. She is super nice! I told her about my symptoms and still not feeling great. I requested to have hydration while I was there and she thought that was a great idea. She said if it makes me feel better we can add it to the schedule 1 week after chemo. She also suggested Healios for my mouth pain/discomfort. It’s a million dollars (insert eye roll) but I NEED to do something. Talking and eating have become uncomfortable! I ordered it and it should be coming soon! Infusion went great… I totally hit it off with the nurse. We had so much in common! Lots of laughs!! Jamie and I then went to Panera…. my order will ALWAYS be pick 2 broccoli cheddar soup, turkey bravo sandwhich and a baguette!! YUM!!

One of my friends called me and said… “you know what Kel, sometimes we have bad moments but that doesn’t mean it will be a bad day”. I couldn’t agree more. I am glad I scraped myself off the floor today…

Fred has nothing on KPow!

Love you all,