Makeup class & feeling good!

August 3, 2018

During chemo on Monday the nurse had mentioned a free makeup class. I shouted with excitement “YES, SIGN ME UP”! Lol my eyebrows and eyelashes are disappearing by the minute and makeup is getting harder and harder. One day I looked like dracula.. seriously my eyebrows couldn’t have been any bigger or darker lol. I needed help bad! So I went to the class Tuesday night and it was amazing! The program is called “Look good feel better” and there is an instructor who walks you through a full makeover. I have never been a huge makeup girl… typically it’s a few swipes of mascara and I am done. So I was applying more crap to my face than I ever had lol ..concealer, cream foundation, bronzer, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, eyebrow liner, blush, lip liner and lipstick. It was so fun getting all dolled up with the other girls though, which increased our spirits and confidence. We also got a huge bag of free makeup. Grateful for the opportunity!!

Symptom wise I feel amazing. Some numbness and tingling in my hands and feet, a HUGE kanker sore that won’t go away and sometimes I get a little short of breath during exertion. Seriously, it’s nothing compared to what I went through with A/C. 

It has been a great week! Went to the park on Tuesday with my sister and library girls. It was so nice to catch up and the kids got their 1st ice cream truck experience! So fun. Wednesday I got a visit from Jamie’s cousin, Michelle. Always nice to see her, she has been a huge support for Jamie and I. She let me borrow some cook books and gave me some great tips for my kanker sore 🙂 Thursday Zacky had allergy testing for peanuts due to a topical reaction that occurred a few months ago. NO allergy! YAY for peanut butter and jellys lol! My nurse Moms, B-Barb and Diane came to visit me in the afternoon. Always makes my day to see them. Had a play date with my friend Shannon and her daughter today. The kids had a blast splashing in their new pool (thanks Auntie Heath)! Having normalcy and wonderful people back into my life was much needed. Enjoying every second. 

We were suppose to go to the lake tonight but thankfully my Mom-Kathy texted me and told me there are tornado warnings and flooding. That quickly changed our minds and we decided to stay home and go up tomorrow afternoon.

A special thank you to my cousin Alicia who will be running in the Cigna/Elliot race, which is a 5K to help fundraise for a new cancer center in Manchester. I wanted to run with her but I felt it was too soon and want to gain some strength first. Looking to do a run in the fall and get a group together. If anyone has suggestions and or is interested let me know 😊  

Hope everyone has a good weekend!!

Love Kel

I blog when I can’t sleep… 2nd Taxol treatment

July 31, 2018

Its 11:45pm and I can’t sleep! Just got done watching America’s got talent. I feel so pathetic when I literally have tears going down my face for every act! A dog starts jump ropping and I start sobbing hahaha! I swear having children and becoming an old fart makes you an emotional mess lol

I love this blog. It has been so therapeutic for me. Sometimes I forget that people are actually reading this though lol. I worry what people think and I’m like crap maybe I shouldn’t have said this or that. But I can’t hold back.. I need to be me and put down my true emotions and feelings. Otherwise it wouldn’t be therapeutic. So your getting the real thing guys!

Had my second Taxol infusion today in Manchester. Took 5 minutes to get there versus Lebanon which takes 1hr and 30mins. I didn’t get any PTSD feelings, no anxiety, no nausea, nothing! I felt great the entire time. The facility was really nice too. Free breakfast and lunch (my kind of facility) hahah. They also have TV’s at every infusion station which Lebanon doesn’t have.. and my favorite show was on HGTV Fixer upper! I was in Heaven. The only downfall was they didn’t have lidocaine to numb my port area before accessing it. Instead they used a numbing spray which had a horrible sting and didn’t do anything.. Boy did I feel that needle going into my port. Ouch!! Overall it was such a good experience though. I plan on transferring down here especially because my oncologist from Lebanon is leaving soon anyways. I asked for a Benadryl tablet this time versus the IV Benadryl. I still got tired and took a 3hr nap when I got home but I didn’t get that crazy groggy/out of it feeling which was nice. Regained energy after the nap and Jamie and I went to karate. We walked in and there were little kiddos kicking and chopping. Read the sign outside that said this week there will be no karate for our group.. noooo!! 😩 My Mom was watching the kids so we decided to use the time to do something. Out of all the things we could’ve done we decided Whole Foods LOL. Super romantic. But it was good to get the groceries done!

Also, I got the OK to share the news! My best friend Heather had her baby girl (Lucy Ann) on Wednesday July 25th. I was so anxious to meet my new niece that I decided to go see her the next day. My sister and Mom came with me too! I’m going to be honest… I think newborns look like aliens LOL but this little girl was the most beautiful little baby I have ever seen!!! I couldn’t stop smiling. Congrats Heath & Mitch. Love you guys so much!!! ❤️

Blessed my nephew Aiden is discharged from the hospital and doing well. Love you buddy 

Still up. Hopefully snoozing soon!

Kelly

First Taxol Chemo treatment

July 27, 2018

I went to Lebanon on Monday for my first infusion of Taxol (the new chemo med). Call it anxiety, PTSD or whatever but that hospital makes me so sick! I wake up nauseas just thinking about going. I brought my “medication” with me for the first time and boy did that help me get through the day!! I felt sick but not to the point of vomiting which I have in the past. Yay! Chemo days are so long. Jamie and I left our house at 6AM and didn’t get back till 5ish! Craziness. Prior to the infusion they gave me IV Benadryl and monitored me for the first 30mins. I guess there is a high risk of an allergic reaction with this med. I was fine but SO tired and foggy. I slept the entire infusion and the entire car ride home. Sorry Jamie for not being the best company lol! 

Tuesday I felt amazing. Tons of energy! Went to physical therapy that night and met Kristen who will be my physical therapist. She was super nice and apparently the manager. Woohoo! She gave me balancing exercises as well as puddy to do hand exercises like squeezing it and rolling it. Ill be doing these twice a day which will hopefully help/prevent neuropathy (hand and feet numbness/pain). I am also keeping up with exercise which she said is very important. Jamie and I did yoga one night. SO funny.. at the end we did the whole “namaste thing” and laid down on our living room floor. I woke up 45 minutes later and realized we both passed out hahah! We must have looked so ridiculous sleeping on the floor 😂 

It has been 2 weeks of the plant based diet, aka vegan and I decided I am over it lol. I could do it for another month or heck two… but there is no way I could maintain this long-term. Jamie and I talked about it and we want to do something that is realistic, enjoyable and will last. So we decided we would add dairy/meats but in moderation and still cut out the processed junk. BUT heck if I want a cookie I should be able to eat a cookie! I don’t want food to control my life. Fred has controlled enough of it! 

I did something REALLY special on Thursday. But before I post I need to get the OK. Cant wait to share with everyone 😍 

Went blueberry picking this morning with the kiddos, my sister, and her friends from school. It was fun but really HOT. Started getting a little light headed, short of breath, and my hands and feet were going numb. I was also carrying Zacky in his backpack which weighs 20 pounds lol (probably didn’t help)! My sis took over and carried Zacky toward the end which was helpful! So other than getting a little short of breath when exerting myself and the numbness/tingling in my hands and feet, I’m GOOD! The med is cumulative so we will see what the future brings but so far it as been a BREEZE compared to the red devil! Able to get back into my normal routine and have my kids home with me! Im in heaven. 

My cousin Jess has a friend who is literally going through the same exact journey as me. She is approximately 6 months ahead of me and just had her surgery. We have the same chemo meds, same breast surgeon, same plastic surgeon, same physical therapist, same karate classes and soon we will have the same oncologist because mine is leaving. Anyways she has been amazing to talk to and ask questions. Thank you Jen for the support! I also have a few survivors I text and talk to, so thank you to those amazing girls as well 😘

Happy Birthday Dad!! Your love and support is so appreciated. (He brings me a protein shake every morning.. so spoiled). Love you so much and hope you have a wonderful day. 

Wow sorry for the massive post guys haha! Apparently I had a lot to say

Thank you everyone for being SO wonderful! Im one lucky girl

Feeling 110% this week

July 21, 2018

Thursday morning my entire left arm was numb, tingling, and painful. I was home alone with the kiddos and thought damnit after all this I am going to die of a heart attack! After 30 minutes the pain continued. I was freaking out. I called Jamie to come home and asked him if he knew how to do CPR hahah! My Mom also came over just in case I had to go to the hospital. I thought this was it guys lol!! I called my nurse who spoke with my NP and she reassured me it was most likely a pinched nerve because I did a lot of water sports the weekend before and have been carrying Zacky in his backpack a lot lately. She said to have someone massage the area and we will monitor. So Jamie massaged my back for over an hour! I have the best hubby ever. By the end of the day it went away. Phewwww

Other than my almost heart attack lol I feel SO good this week. The extra week off from chemo has been a blessing. My sister&brother-in-law have been up visiting since Wednesday so it was great to see them and their beautiful family! We celebrated Jamie’s grandfathers 90th birthday today! He is such an inspiration and one of the nicest most heartwarming people I know. Happy Birthday Grandpa! Also celebrated my cousins Bridal shower (both events were at the Puritan, at the exact same time). What are the chances of that lol! You looked beautiful today Bryanna! 

Life is SO good. I don’t get upset over the little things anymore. I am thankful and blessed for good/healthy days which I use to take for granted. I see and view things differently. A sunset that I might have blown off before I now sit and soak in. Living in a small house that I constantly felt we were outgrowing I now embrace and love that I don’t have to walk far for a hug or kiss. I am enjoying life more than I ever have. 

Fred has completely changed my life. I’ll be honest he sucks and he’s such an asshole for putting me through this BUT he has also brought so much happiness in my life. And I appreciate life in a way I would never have before if it wasn’t for him.

Live❤️Love❤️Laugh

MRI Results

July 17, 2018

Spoke with Dr. Patel today. She said the cancer is responding nicely to chemo and she is happy with the MRI results. She said due to dense breast tissue it was a little tough to see but the tumor is approximately 2cm now versus 7cm prior to treatment. Yay!! Gooodbye Fred! It’s been real! LOL

Now that I am feeling better I decided it was time to work on diet and exercise. I’ll be doing a plant based diet and physical therapy/karate once a week per Dr. Patel’s orders. Hopefully start running again which is one of my favs and my dad also mentioned biking which I’m excited about! For about 3 years my Dad, Jamie and I really got into it. We biked 50 miles in the Prouty which benefits cancer research at Dartmouth Hitchcock Norris Cotton Cancer Center about 5 years ago. Talk about a coincidence. Strange how events line up in life! Anyways I really want to do everything I can to fight Fred and be healthy! So here I go. Goodbye cheezits, turkey and cheese sub from pizza market, buffalo chicken wrap and mozzarella sticks from Ollies, cookies, caramel swirl ice coffee, etc etc.. I will miss you dearly ☹️ Haha!! 

My spirits are high and enjoying a week of normalcy ❤️❤️

Love you all!

MRI/Life is GOOD

July 15, 2018

I had an MRI on Friday because my breast surgeon wants to compare the tumor before and after the Red Devil. I will be getting results either tomorrow or Tuesday. I will let you know 🙂 It was a typical MRI. Wish the music was a little louder. The noises in there are obnoxious haha!! 

Went to the lake this weekend. It’s my get away. I forget about everything. So peaceful and relaxing. Always surrounded by family & friends. Truly the best!

Typically I would have an infusion tomorrow but because I’m starting a new chemo med and they want the MRI results prior I get a full week off! Yahoo 

❤️ Thanks for following my journey

How cannabis helped me get through

July 9, 2018

Hi everyone! So last Monday I went to my last and final red devil infusion!! My Mom wanted to see the process and joined us which was nice. On our drive up I was really nauseas. Thought it was the car ride but once we arrived and time passed I was still nauseas! Jamie thought it was my nerves. I literally think I already have PTSD from that place lol! The smells, the building, ewww everything about it just makes me sick. BUT it was the last one! Thank god!

The next chemo med is called Taxol, it is a weekly infusion that starts July 23rd for 12 weeks. I’ll be doing 4 infusions in Lebanon and the rest in Manchester to help with travel. The med should be a lot less potent. It may cause pain in my hands and feet but as long as I keep up with exercise and karate I should be ok! hiiiii yaaa (that’s my karate noise) 🤛👋 haha 

I have been extremely nauseas this round and even sips of Gatorade weren’t staying down. I haven’t talked about medication yet and would like to share with everyone what helped me through some of my toughest days. My oncologist prescribed Ativan, compazine and zofran. I took these meds over and over again with little to no relief. I also tried oils, seabands, etc. nothing helped. Multiple people had mentioned marijuana. I was skeptical at first but after weeks of being so miserable I was willing to try anything. Thank goodness I had a friend to walk me through the process of getting a medical marijuana card. You need to go online and print the application and see your PCP who will then fill it out. Having a card enables you to obtain marijuana through state-approved dispensaries, wellness centers and health clinics. This is a long process and takes approximately 21 days. So if your even semi interested you need to apply right away. I tried edible candy first. I found it very helpful but the only downfall is you have to wait a full hour to take effect. I find smoking to be most effective and you get immediate relief. My nausea/vomiting is gone within minutes! And I actually get really hungry. Aka “munchies” lol. This is great for a cancer patient who has trouble eating and keeping food and fluids down. I also have really bad insomnia at night due to chemo and sometimes feel like I am having panic attacks. Smoking helps tremendously!! Also helps with aches and pain. After telling my oncologist that I found something that works his response was “I don’t know much about that” “try to be more aggressive with the medication and maybe we can get you in for an extra infusion of anti-nausea meds”. Whhhhhhat??? I am telling you I found something that works! Ahh so frustrating. Clearly the medical field isn’t ready to promote cannabis and it’s benefits which is really too bad. There are even 2 drugs based on marijuana compounds that have been approved in the US for medical use called Dronabinol and Nabilone. Why didn’t he mention that? On the American Cancer Society website it states that scientists reported that THC slows growth and/or causes death in certain types of cancer cells growing in lab dishes. Hmmm sounds pretty good to me! So what do we do when our oncologist literally won’t even talk about it, nevermind promote it. Advocate for yourself and apply for a card. Even if you don’t use it you’ll at least have the option. The following website has the application form for NH residents: https://www.dhhs.nh.gov/oos/tcp/applications-forms.htm

I hope I didn’t offend anyone! I just thought it was important to talk about and get the word out there 😊 I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July! 

Thank you family and friends for being so wonderful! Couldn’t do this without you. 

Love Kelly ❤️

A good 3-day stretch!

July 1, 2018

The past 3 days have been wonderful. I have been back to feeling like my normal self! You almost forget what “normal” feels like. My family and I went to the lake this weekend and we had a blast. One of my best friends Wig and I went tubing today and OMG my Dad gave us the best ride! I saw massive waves coming our way and said “Hold on Wig!!!” Before you know it we are both airborne flying in the sky.. I couldn’t hold on!! I fell face first in the water and inhaled the entire lake!! My eyes were closed tight the whole time so I figured I was the only one that fell off and then all of a sudden I felt something in the water… it was Wig!! Bahaha we were laughing our asses off! I laughed so hard I peed my pants! I don’t think I have ever done that before 😂 LOL. 

Tomorrow is my fourth chemo infusion! LAST red devil and half way there! Can I get a woop woop! As much as it sucks I am SO relieved this is the last red devil. 

Spirits are high and life is GOOD 😊

❤️ Kel

Neulasta

June 25, 2018

After every infusion I get a device placed on my arm which injects a medication called Neulasta 27hrs later. This helps increase white blood cells and prevents me from getting super ill sick! Well Tuesday night the med was dripping down my arm instead of going IN my arm. But seriously I have a 1 and 3 year old that think I’m a mini jungle gym so the chances of this thing staying in place and working properly are ridiculously slim lol. Wednesday morning came “Day 3” and I typically can’t lift my head off my pillow.. but I could! I mean I was sick but not a typical day 3 feeling. Hmmmm 🤔 So I called the nurse and told her about the med leaking the night before and she said I needed to go to CMC immediately and get an injection. What!! You are hilarious lady. You’re telling me I need to actually get out of bed and leave my house on DAY 3!!! Are you out of your mind??! Yup she was.. she said you HAVE to get this injection. So my Mom brought me in and I was obviously miserable. I was so nauseas and ended up getting sick in the bathroom. Nothing like getting sick in a public bathroom.. so comfy and cozy! AND my poor Zacky was wicked sick with a high fever. Hubs had to bring him to urgent care. I yi yi! But we made it through! Days went by and I never got that “I can’t lift my head off the pillow feeling” or feeling like I needed to rest after taking a few steps. The symptoms were different. I had really bad nausea/vomiting this time so food and fluids were a struggle. Weak/achy. Bowel issues that I am sure none of you want details on haha! And this crazy insomnia feeling! It would happen day or night.. hard to explain but my heart would start pounding, racing and felt out of rythym. Short of breath too. I would lay down and try to sleep but I couldn’t. Really bizarre and a little scary! Symptoms are almost gone at this point but I’m just super tired.. probably from my insomnia week lol! I plan to rest all day today and hopefully have the kiddos back tomorrow or the day after ❤️ Looking forward to that morning I am 💯 it’s coming! I feel it!

Happy birthday to Andi & Zacky 🎂 If you ever read this some day Mommy loves you SO much! You are truly my world. 

Jamie thank you for never letting me forget how lucky I am to be here fighting. Love you so much 

And thank you to everyone else for all your love and support!

Kel

Chemo infusion #3 & Waterskiing

June 19, 2018

Not only did I have a wonderful symptom free week my weekend was even better!! I met my beautiful baby boy nephew for the first time Friday night. He smiled at me and was making the cutest faces! What a blessing. Saturday I went to my nieces dance recital and omg was she adorable with her little tutu! We then went to the lake for the rest of the weekend. Flawless!! So beautiful and truly enjoyed every second. Sunday morning we were out on my dads boat and I randomly said out loud  “I’m going water skiing”. Instantly my Dad and Mom got all flustered and was worried about me (so typical) haha! I wasn’t trying to be a hero or prove anything I just wanted to get out there so bad. Water sports has been such a big part of my life and sitting my ass in the boat all summer just wasn’t going to happen. So there I was in the water all ready to go, I told myself “you’ve got this, you will get up, don’t you dare let go of the rope”. And somehow someway I got up on my ski. I was all smiles and won’t ever forget that moment. If you believe in yourself anything is possible. The link below is a video of me waterskiing! Check it out if you want
https://youtu.be/xlSsjnjtsu0

Hope everyone had a wonderful Father’s Day! Love you Dad and Larry ❤️

Yesterday was my 3rd infusion of the RED DEVIL. Only 1 more to go! Typically your always in a room with one other person. Love talking with other patients and hearing thier stories. So I sat with a patient named Fred… yes FRED lol! He was diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer 10 months ago and was told he had a 20% chance of living. He said he was devastated at first and thought this was it for him until he woke up one morning and told himself, “it’s not going to play out that way, I will survive”. He received PET scan results that day stating he was cancer free. Him and his wife were glowing with happiness that filled the room. They almost had me in tears! Go Fred!! 

Today I am really nauseas and tired. But hanging in there and getting ready for DAY 3 tomorrow. Here we go!!

Pow pow 🤜💥