Still recovering from 2nd chemo infusion

June 8, 2018

So it’s been a week since my last infusion and I am still recovering. With my first infusion I had 3 rough days and that was about it. I bounced back so quickly! The health care team told me chemo is cumulative and every infusion may or may not get tougher. Ummmm what they should have told me is “it will definitely get tougher and will kick your ass!! You will feel as if you were run over by a dump truck and then placed into a giant blender and poured into the middle of the ocean where you will try to swim over 100 foot waves”. This is what every doctor should be telling their patients haha!! I guess it may or may not be professional enough? But jeesh at least it’s pretty spot on! Anyways.. I definitely wasn’t prepared for this and became very emotional the past week. I wanted to get back to my normal life SO bad. So bad that I attempted to stay home with the kids on Wednesday by myself.. HA that was a complete joke and by 10am my Mom and Dad had to come over and help me. I was so frustrated. Why can’t I do this? I am a DOer and not being able to do anything was killing me! I surrendered that day. I needed help.. and as much as I hate getting help I didn’t have a choice. My Mother in law, Kathy has taken the kids every single day this week so I can rest and gain strength. What a blessing! When the kids come home at the end of the day Andi runs up to me and gives me a huge hug and says “love you Mommy” and hands me an art project she made that day.. literally melts my heart ❤️ My Mom has been helping with cleaning, dishes, laundry, groceries etc! I have the 2 best Moms in the world!! Thank you Mimi and Gram! And thank you to all my friends and family for making this journey a little easier for me. The thoughtful and generous gifts, the kind gestures, cards and texts that make me smile every day! I couldn’t do this without all the love and support pouring in. 

”if you’re not okay, that’s okay. It will happen sometimes. But you have to tell yourself that things will be better tomorrow. Even if they’re not better tomorrow keep telling yourself they will be. Because eventually tomorrow will be better.” -Sam Miller 

❤️Kel

Down & out after 2nd infusion

June 5, 2018

Today’s the first day I have strength to write since my last infusion on Friday.  Friday night I had side effects to Emend, one of the anti-nausea meds they gave me during the infusion which caused nausea, cold sweats, fatigue, and hiccups. Saturday was my best day, other than feeling tired I was OK. Then Sunday morning came.. sitting up in bed felt like a daunting task. The fatigue, body aches and weakness were unlike anything I have ever experienced. My mouth had this awful dryness, yucky taste. Food and fluids were a struggle. I was freezing! My Aunt has a blanket at camp we call the “wolf” that I wrapped myself in. Literally the warmest blanket in the world. Thanks Auntie G! I slept all day and all night with minimal activity. Monday was similar, my strength was better (meaning I could stand up for a few minutes and then lay back down). I was nauseas and got sick a few times that night. Really bad headache. And now today.. gaining strength every day. I am able to get up for longer periods of time (go to the bathroom, grab something to eat.. and then I get winded and back to bed I go). It’s been a rough 5 days.. physically and emotionally. I keep reminding myself that Fred IS shrinking and chemo IS working. One day at a time. I will get through this. 

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have”

Love you all ❤️ Thank you for the support every single day. 

Feeling OK!

May 28, 2018

I am 2 weeks out from my first chemo treatment and I have been so tired the past few days. I’ve been taking 2-3hr naps daily! 😴 Other than that I feel like I’m back to my old self. I feel so much better! Should have had a chemo treatment today but because of the holiday weekend my next infusion will be Friday. Looking forward to a few more good days but not looking forward to Friday 😦 The anticipation of feeling like death is not a good feeling haha! On a good note Fred is shrinking!!! He feels flatter and smaller! Yay take that Fred.. pow pow 🤜💥💥

Thank you for your constant love and support!

❤️ Kel

Overwhelmed with joy

May 24, 2018

I find myself speechless and not quite sure how to say thank you. I even googled “ways to say thank you”. Lol! I truly wish I could send a thank you card to each and every one of you. The meal train, beautiful cards I receive in the mail, thoughtful gifts, and complete strangers reaching out to help my family and I. I am so incredibly grateful!! Also, a special thank you to my sister for starting a GoFundMe page. It has already reached $3,000.00 in just a few days. My husband and I are in complete awe! We can’t believe it!! And words will never express how thankful we are.

All my love ❤️

Port placement

May 22, 2018

So today I went to Lebanon to have my port placed. Thank you sister for driving me!! 😊 So I first went into a pre-op room where they started an IV. Took forever because I was dehydrated.. I felt like a pin cushion!! The nurse finally got it on stick #4! Ouch. I then went into the OR room. They gave me a sedation drug which made me super chill/tired. I just closed my eyes but never actually fell asleep. Procedure took 30 minutes or so. Then went to a post-op room for discharge instructions and recovery. My sis and I went to lunch after at this cute diner but I felt SO nauseas and could barely eat. We then got into her car to head home and I felt the “watery mouth” feeling and was like OH CRAP!! We were by Dartmouth College so TONS of people were walking outside. I started panicking and was like omg Kim I’m going to be sick. She was seriously like a cheetah and whipped out a Dunkin donuts bag in seconds. I was so impressed by her cat-like reflexes lol! So unfortunately I got sick in her car 🚗  so sorry Kim! I then came home and was exhausted and still nauseas. Slept the afternoon away 😴 The site is a little sore tonight but feeling OK and icing it!

I added this picture below of what the port looks like healed…..

Blogger & now YouTuber!

May 18, 2018

My mother in law took the kids again today. I was able to sleep in, relax and get some much needed rest! Still nauseas and a bit backed up (if you know what I mean lol). But I talked to my nurse and hopefully switching some meds around will help. I started making a few videos to help increase awareness in regards to PABC (pregnancy associated breast cancer). I couldn’t just upload videos from my iphone, so I had to make a YouTube account. Can’t believe I’m a blogger and now a YouTuber, unbelievable lol! My account is below if you want to check it out!

Love you all 💜

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUw1UEvMrGiTuLdnCbgwH_g?view_as=subscriber