After MUCH thought and going back and forth I decided to take some time off. Its been over a month since I left Hillsborough County Nursing Home and gahhhh its been SO incredibly hard. I see commercials or social media thanking healthcare workers and I’m like wow.. you suck Kelly and just have this horrible guilt for leaving. I try to remind myself of the past 2 years though and how hard I fought to stay alive and how I need to continue fighting and staying healthy and safe! Not just for me but my 2 beautiful children and husband. We have been through enough as a family and I can’t bare to think of another journey. I just can’t. I recently found out HCNH has confirmed cases including residents and staff members. I can’t tell you how heart breaking this is. PLEASE pray for them 🙏 ALL MY LOVE HCNH! ❤️❤️❤️

April 6, 2020

Hello friends & family!

First and foremost, I hope everyone is doing OK. I have gone multiple days without showering, I am potty training my son so we typically find puddles of urine on the floor throughout the day, I rarely know what day it is.. god forbid the date. I drink coffee heavily during the day and then around 8pm switch to red wine (heavily). I am now a solid pre-k teacher. Finger painting, read books, alphabet stuff, playdoh, and done! Praise the lord I don’t have any children above this academic level or we would be in big trouble. I am now a janitor at hubs work (he had to lay off his employees… only 3 of them but that makes a big difference when running a company). So I’m helping him out. Yesterday it took me 2 HOURS to fold boxes and sort trash (I think I am giving my 2 week notice tomorrow) ..today was my first day 🤣 Lol!! And I love how everyone is picking up new hobbies and enjoying “self care”. Ummm ya… I still have 2 human beings attached to my hip 24-7 and I can tell you right now I ain’t pickin up no hobbies other then finding the next coolest craft to keep them busy! I yi yi! My hair salon is closed and I am days away from a mullet. Taking a drive in the car seems “luxurious” these days. The kids get like legit excited.. as if they are on an amusement park ride. I can’t… lol! Ok enough giggles and shenanigans… time to get serious  

It’s corona time…. 

Numbers continue to climb despite the enormous effort to try and flatten the curve.  

And to be quite honest…. the “curve” is looking more and more like Mount Everest!!

GLOBAL: 1,273,709 cases / 69,456 deaths 
US: 336,830 cases / 9,618 deaths 

1 month ago today the US had only 221 cases and only 12 deaths 

Numbers are multiplying rapidly and its terrifying to know where we will be at the peak.. 

If you haven’t heard there was an order made by our governor on Friday, March 27th to stay home. I say this sarcastically because it seriously blows my mind to hear how many people are STILL getting together. Why!!!! ….Because people are covidiots (LOL these are people who are idiots and blind to the Covid19 virus). They think they are immune or something and feel superior to it. Making comments like “well I am healthy”. First of all if you are over the age of 60… it doesn’t matter if you are healthy or not … you are at risk .. period. If you are young and healthy… this STILL doesn’t mean you won’t get it and become really sick!!  I just found out that someone Jamie and I went to high school with tested positive and was severely sick for 2 weeks. I also found out a few days ago that a friends father just passed away from Covid19. Prayers to her and her family 🙏 Guys… NO ONE is immune!! And even if you feel like you are young, hip and resistant to life then do it for the ones who are at risk!! (I think I am yelling through my computer right now… yup its happening). I get so heated. Like I literally can’t have a normal conversation without getting heart palpitations and angry!! Breathe Kelly breathe…. 
 
….When will people start opening their eyes? When its too late? When they actually FEEL it and SEE it? When a close friend or family member ends up in the hospital …or worse passes away?!

As my “safety major” husband would say… we can either be “proactive” or “reactive”. NH will end up peaking at some point… its just a matter of time. And it’s our job as a community to be proactive and stay away from one another as best as we can!!! People said “China will be able to contain the virus” and they couldn’t… people said “it won’t reach the U.S.” and it did. People said “it won’t become pandemic” and it did. People said “the U.S. won’t get it as bad as China & Italy” ummm it is. And here’s the kicker.. people are saying “NH won’t get hit hard because we started social distancing early” my response to those people are…. “ummmm ya OK”. Don’t assume anything when everyone has been wrong wrong wrong!

I will end this portion with this….

“The effects will be seen weeks down the road,” said Caroline Buckee, an epidemiologist at Harvard’s T.H. Chan School of Public Health. For people who think that distancing measures are not needed in their communities yet, she said, “that is extremely naïve. Everywhere should be taking social distancing very seriously, because nowhere is immune to this virus.”

Me….

This will be our 4th week of social distancing and having Andi home from school. The first couple of weeks were tough. The kids aren’t used to being together THAT much and the fighting was out of control and making me crazy! I also feel like I took a step backwards because I was FINALLY feeling like myself again. I actually wanted to be around people. My smile and laughter were generally REAL and for once I didn’t have to fake them. I was able to get the kids into fun activities and on an actual schedule knowing I wouldn’t be interrupted with stupid surgeries, treatments, doctor appointments, etc. I finally felt like I was digging myself out of this depression I didn’t even know I was in for the past 2 years. I was truly living “My life after cancer” and it felt SO good. First there was Fred who kept me isolated and now Covid. WTF Covid!!! LOL! I am over it though… I had a few weeks to sulk and feel bad for myself and now I am over it. I am a cancer survivor… and I am HERE… and at the end of the day I have absolutely nothing to complain about compared to what our world is up against right now. Once I changed my crappy attitude I not only saw a difference in me but also the kids!

ONE day at a time
Just jeep swimming 
LAUGH

KPOWPOW ❤️

Ps. I miss my family and friends SO much and cant wait to give you all hugs and kisses when this is all over. XOXO

March 18, 2020

Hi everyone!!

So a lot of thought has gone into this post and whether to actually write it or not lol… and long story short I believe everyone should have a voice. Everyone should be able to share their thoughts and feelings in regards to this novel virus that feels surreal, eerie, and unnerving for most. 

I have questioned everything my entire life! Like not to get religious or anything but I was THAT kid that asked my parents “well why can’t I see him?” and rolled my eyes with whatever response they had. Lol its in my DNA.. I seriously can’t help it! And when I first heard about this novel virus that suddenly appeared in China back in early January I was worried. I remember talking with a few friends in regards to the epidemic and they thought I was crazy to think it would ever become pandemic. “Kel, it won’t happen in our lifetime”. I started feeling crazy… Kelly your crazy.. stop it! And also thought to myself… theres a really good chance China will be able to contain it.. just like SARS back in 2002/2003. We’re good… but wait are we? lol 😳 

At the end of January/early February we quickly started to hear about new cases in other countries around the world. Weeks went by and the list grew quickly… I kept thinking to myself… OK their having a hard time containing it… clearly this is fast spreading… is it too late to slow down or eradicate? If so, how are we possibly going to stop it? Will it become endemic? Maybe it will die off with the warm weather and become seasonal like the flu?… or maybe there will be millions of people who get it/survive it and we can build immunity? ..or maybe and hopefully they can come up with a vaccine or treatment within the next year or so …clearly my brain was RUNNING lol! ..but everyone around me was still like “ehhh… no big deal” …I wanted to scream! 

Finding out it is pandemic has been heart breaking and starting to get REAL fast. The coronavirus has now infected more than 200,000 people and killed more than 8,000 globally.

I think at this point everyone will agree with me that this is very serious. As a community and nation it is SO important that we work together and not only listen to our healthcare professionals but comply to what they are trying to tell us. Right now the vision is to “flatten the curve”. I am so impressed by this theory as I initially thought there was no way in hell we would be able to pull it off as a nation. But they are actually taking steps to do this …they are actually doing it (clapping hands)!!! Are we going to eradicate the virus by doing this… probably not. But hopefully it will prevent our hospitals from overflowing (which they already are) and ensure that patients who are critically ill get the care they need. As of right now we are on what is called an “exponential curve”… experts are worried if the number of cases are to continue to double every 3 days, there will be about a hundred million cases in the US by May. That is math, not prophecy. The spread can be slowed down through proper social distancing and avoiding public spaces. If we don’t work as a team we WILL end up like Italy and Europe… its just a matter of time. Large corporations like Walmart, Target, CVS, etc. are willing to use their parking lots for “drive through testing”. This is huge! Schools, gatherings, meetings, sporting events, restaurants, etc are being shut down. Its happening and VERY quickly… 

LETS FLATTEN THE CURVE!! 

Yeah… it sucks, its uncomfortable, and people want to continue living their lives. I get it! And straight up… some people CAN’T stop working. We need doctors, nurses, and health care workers to continue doing what their doing (saving lives) and I don’t know about you but I enjoy running water, electricity, food, and cable.. oh my gahhhh cable… Moms can you imagine life without Disney Plus?? LOL!! But in all seriousness there are some people that will need to go to work and I get that. But for everyone else try to come up with a plan and stay home if possible!!   

If you’re thinking well I am not at risk… thats great… but do it for the people who ARE at risk. Do it for my 300 residents who I absolutely adore at the Goffstown nursing home… do it for my friends son who was recently diagnosed with Crohn’s disease and has to be extremely careful due to his depressed immune system, do it for my dear friend who lives in California and currently fighting breast cancer with a depleted immune system and currently going through chemo, do it for all the Moms and Dads out there who are at high risk because of underlying health problems like diabetes, heart disease, COPD, etc. Do it for your grandmothers and grandfathers. Please… just take a minute and really think about this and who it might effect in your circle.

Also, as of right now children seem to be presenting with mild to no symptoms at this time which is a blessing! BUT this does not mean they aren’t little transmission machines!! Gosh.. they are so gross hahah! …keep this in mind! 

Today is day 3 of “social distancing” with the kids. Not sure when I will be able to see my family again which makes me super sad. BUT I think we will be clever and come up with ways to say hi to one another. Tonight Andi and I went for a bike ride around the neighborhood. We stopped our bikes at the end of my sisters driveway and gave her a call. They all came out and said hi from their porch (more then 6 feet away)! Be creative!

Lastly, I don’t know about you but I NEED the laughter and the coronavirus jokes (if you have read my blog since day one you know I pretty much laughed my entire “cancer experience” away lol!!) It is the BEST medicine. I recommend following Bob Marley & Amy Schumer on instagram if possible! Love them. And just continue sharing jokes, pictures, comments, whatever you can to make someone laugh or smile! 

And lets continue being kind to one another!! Went to Market Basket last week and was stuck in a massive line to check out and noticed I wasn’t moving AT ALL. Well I look a little further and noticed an elderly man bagging items and an elderly women scanning. These “high risk” members of our community are putting themselves at risk so a “low risk” person like myself can stock up on food and non-perishables…. ummm that seems so wrong! A mom in the next aisle next to me realized I literally wasn’t moving and insisted I go in front of her!! It was SO sweet ❤ The lady who was scanning our items jokingly said “I am not sure when I will eat next” …(she wasn’t joking). I literally started going through my bags asking if she wanted a granola bar or snack. She smiled and said she was ok. My sister and I went out last week for last minute items and a man grabbed some TP off the shelf and looked at us and said “are you guys all set?”. SO kind! Lets continue!!  

BE KIND ♥ PRAY ♥ LAUGH ♥ LIVE IN THE MOMENT ♥ TRY AND SEE THE GOOD ♥ BE POSITIVE

I am so sorry… this was so intense hahah!! I will continue posting “my thoughts”! Stay tuned or just find that little X in the right hand corner… I will totally understand lol!

Oh and I guess I should write a little tid-bit on myself. A lot of people have been concerned and asking how my immune system is and if I am “at risk” or not. I actually saw my oncologist a few weeks ago and she said my immune system should be back to where it was prior to being diagnosed. PHEW! ..I have been struggling with a headache and sore throat for about 2 weeks now and starting to get achy! 😳 No fever though! I will keep an eye on it….the kids have also been sick on and off. As most of you know Zacky was sent by ambulance to the hospital a few weeks ago. Temp of 105.5… SCARY stuff but he seems ok now and I am doing daily head to toe assessments lol! Jamie is also sick and I had my stethoscope out checking his lung sounds the other day… I don’t think he was impressed!! 😂 

Gosh I love you all so much and praying for every single one of you! 

Lets do this ✌ 
KPOWPOW

February 5, 2020

OK… so I keep telling myself I want to blog more. BUT… its been a month since my last post. How does this happen?? I really want to be one of those cool Mom bloggers! Bahahah! I literally just laughed out loud. Who am I kidding! 😂 That will never happen… yes I am a Mom but will never be a “cool mom blogger” LOL! I will try and blog a little more often though! I really do love it!! 

SO… we have a situation on our hands. INFLUENZA ATTACK! Kim… close your eyes and repeat “cancel cancel cancel”. LOL… my poor Andi was diagnosed with Flu AND strep on Monday night. It is going around her school and locally like rapid fire!! Jamie, myself and Zacky are all taking Tamiflu as a precaution and crossing our fingers we don’t get it. Moms.. sanitize sanitize and sanitize!!! It is definitely making its way around. My bestie from Maine said one of their schools SHUT DOWN per CDC because of an outbreak. Yikes!! Get your flu shot if you haven’t (It is still available). Also… it has been a very long time since I had a flu swab and quickly remembered how HORRIFIC it is. OH MAH GOD! I swear that swab went through my nostril and straight to my brain. It is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. And Andi… oh my Andi.. she just frowned and tears started rolling down her eyes. She is seriously 10 times braver then I will ever be and so tough! I literally wanted to ball my eyes out watching her try to be strong. And then there was Zacky…. FREAKING OUT FRANTICALLY before the swab got 5 feet near his nostril LOL! Poor buddy.. I just hugged him tight and we got through it. Oh man… quite the experience for everyone. While we were waiting for our prescriptions Mama went through the McDonalds drive thru! One would think this would be super exciting for children right??? Ummmm NO… Andi refused to eat anything in her happy meal except for the apples and Zacky only ate his French fries and a nibble of his chicken… I’m like GUYS… they are HAPPY meals …we are suppose to be HAPPY and eat ALL of our food!!!! I yi yi.. kids these days!! 

Andi is doing great though and barely looks sick!! She had that one rough afternoon on Monday before going to urgent care and that was about it! Thankful for that.

As of right now I am taking a daily pill called Arimidex and following up with my team every 6 months or so! That is IT! I can’t tell you how good it feels to finally feel “done”. Even when treatment was over I still had several major surgeries and I never quite felt finished. I truly can say I finally feel like its over! Every day that goes by I feel like I gain a little more of myself. They say all this crap like its a new beginning… or you will find your “new you”. Screw that! I want the OLD me! not this new-old-me.. or whatever crap! lol. And I truly think its possible. Of course I look at things a little different but I don’t think its impossible to feel like my old self again. And I really think im getting super close! (a great feeling). For anyone going through something similar. ..just give yourself time. Eventually you will wake up and be like Hey… I am almost there. OR getting close!

Enough serious talk lol…. 

I need to steam my scrubs and head to work soon! (Does anyone else hate wrinkles and steam their clothes??) I think I got this from my Mom… lol she also loves her steamer!

Goodbye, goodnight, adios amigos!

KPOW 😘 

(I will write soon)…. maybe! 

January 8, 2020

First of all, I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New year! We celebrated our 6th and final Christmas holiday party last Saturday night! Family means a lot to Jamie and I and getting together during the holidays is so important to us. We run around from party to party and it can be a little hectic with 2 little ones but I wouldn’t have it any other way! 

Andi was on school vaca for about a month and it felt so good to finally get back into a routine this week. I was starting to feel like a giant slug!!! There were days I literally stayed in PJS all day long and quite frankly I’m not even sure I changed my underwear 😂 joking! ..I think hahah! I don’t own a scale and haven’t weighed myself in a while so I decided to check at my parents house over the weekend and I gained a whopping 10 pounds!!! WTF! Menopause, stuffing my face with holiday food and sedentary vaca lifestyle clearly went straight to my ass hahah! SO… I am going to get my butt back to the YMCA and start working out again and eating healthier! Im actually going to my friend Ashley’s house tomorrow and she’s going to teach me how to make a healthier coffee! …I like mine with sugar, cream and a splash of coffee 😂 Time to kick some bad habits!! Everything except for cheezits that is haha!

I went back to work on New Year’s Eve with a “light duty” restriction. AKA paperwork, orders and admissions. I totally don’t mind though! Happy to be back after taking a ton of time off! 

My Uncle John passed unexpectedly about a month ago. My heart hurts every single day for my Aunt Cathy who lost her husband and cousins Jen & Barbie who lost their father. Theres literally not one day that goes by that I don’t think of you. Our family has been through a lot but this is by far the hardest. Uncle Butch, I also think of you often as I know he was your best friend. I wish I could take all the sadness and pain away 😔 He will truly be missed so much! I want to share a quick memory that will hopefully make my family smile. So we had a family gathering for my cousins 1st birthday and randomly my uncle John comes up to me, my Mom and a few others and says… “hey, what does that look like to you” as he points to a giant #1 balloon with two blue balloons on each side. We all start busting out laughing as it looked like a giant penis!! LOL! I loved seeing my Uncle Johns smile and funny side. He was an amazing man ❤️❤️❤️ RIP

KPOW