January 24, 2019

Monday was my first day of radiation and it went horribly wrong! They first took X-rays to make sure everything lined up with the mapping Dr. Brower did last week. If you can imagine me laying on a hard surface with both hands over my head holding onto handles and my head turned to the left breathing out of the snorkel with a nose pincher on. NOT COMFY! They had me hold my breath for about 5 mins at a time and the whole process was like  20 minutes long. Toward the end my shoulders were hurting and my nostrils were all red and stinging!! Oh and my back was super stiff from tweaking it out the night before. Dr. Brower unfortunately didn’t like the looks of the X-rays and wanted further imaging. So I was like sure! I met with the nurse prior and chatted with her and then went back in. They said you’ll need to hold your breath a little longer this time. I was like “alright no biggie”! So I’m laying there and about 10 mins in I’m starting to get uncomfortable and much quicker this time. They had me hold my breath for 15 seconds!!! At one point I just couldn’t do it… I had to let air out or I was literally going to burst. I SUCK at holding my breath lol!! 20 minutes in and the girls really aren’t saying much other then when to hold my breath. No one can be in the room so I’m all by myself too! Im starting to worry how much longer it will be! These large X-ray/CT machines orbit around me and switch position every 5 minutes or so. My arms are going numb and very painful, my nose stings SO bad and my back hurts. I try to meditate, sing to myself, close my eyes, etc. 25 minutes in and my legs are shaking because I’m so uncomfortable, tears are going down my face, and this is simply unbearable! I consider myself pretty tough. I typically don’t complain about pain but WOW! They told me to kick my legs if something was wrong and I almost did several times but told myself “suck it up”. Around the half hour mark the girls FINALLY came in and took off the snorkel and let my arms down. I just started crying. They kept apologizing and Dr. Brower came in as well. He said the amount of time I was on the table was unheard of. He felt so bad. My mom and I then waited in an exam room to speak with Dr. Brower to better explain what’s going on. My whole body was shaking. (I swear my body was in shock or something). He explained to us that it looked as if my breast had changed in size and things weren’t lining up. He said the machines are smart and if everything doesn’t line up perfectly it will say error and won’t allow me to give you radiation. He said we were able to radiate 3 out of the 4 angles today. He said tweaking my back and having the breast reduction a day before mapping might have something to do with this. He said unfortunately we have to do the mapping all over. So I went back in and luckily this only took minutes. Dr. Brower offered to get us food from the cafe which was SO nice of him! We had grilled cheese and chips then got the hell out of there haha!! (I obviously had to stay for the grilled cheese). ❤️❤️ We were there for 3 1/2 hours!!!!

DAY 2 was better! Lasted maybe 20 minutes and they were able to get 4 of the 4 angles done! When the tech was placing the nose clip I asked to do it myself because I was so miserable the day before. She said “sure! We have all tried it on before and it’s really uncomfortable”. I was like homie… you probably wore it for like 10 minutes tops.. try 1 HOUR! Ok I didn’t say that but I wanted too haha!! I yi yi people!

DAY 3 was good! 10 minutes long and 4 out of 4 angles were done!!

I’m hoping for a minute long treatment tomorrow 👏

No burns or any pain yet! They say it takes approximately 2 1/2 weeks to notice anything. We shall see!

KPOW ❤️

 

January 16, 2019

So last night went well! AmyJ drained quite a bit of saline from the left breast expander. I’d say I’m half the size now. She asked if I wanted to do a reduction on the right side as well so I wouldn’t look lop-sided. I said well that would be nice Lol! So she did both sides and I once again look like a little girl who hasn’t hit puberty yet… awesome! 😂 But once I am done radiation they will expand me back to where I want to be! 

I went back to Dr. Browers today to do more mapping (aka another CT scan) BUT it was a little different this time! They had me wear this contraption that looked exactly like a snorkel that was hooked up to a machine. I had to breath through that and then also had a clip on my nose. OK so if this doesn’t sound bad enough I also have a stupid head cold and could barely breath. Oh and while I am going through the machine they wanted me to hold my breath for 20 seconds. So here I am trying to hold my breath and swallow my post nasal snots at the same time… awesome lol! But basically what Dr. Brower is trying to do is get the best angle and try to miss as much lung as possible (the last thing I need is lung cancer down the road). Dr. Brower is amazing though and I love that he is picky and pays attention to detail… even if I have to go snorkeling every time I have radiation it’ll be worth it! 😂

I go back Monday for some imaging and then hopefully if everything looks OK I will start radiation! 

Much love ❤️ 

January 15, 2019

So I received a call today from Dr. Browers office saying he didn’t like the look of the CT results. He wants me to have a reduction of the left breast expander because apparently it’s too big and will effect radiation. (First time I heard I was “too big” LOL 😂) 

So I’ll be going in tonight to have the left side drained a bit and then mapping all over again tomorrow! So radiation is on hold until he is happy with how the imaging looks.

To be continued!
KPOW

Ps. I added a few updated pictures. My hair is coming in FAST and my eyebrows and eyelashes are officially in! 😊

January 14, 2019

On Friday I had my radiation mapping & tattoos done. The mapping consisted of a CT scan that took pictures of my chest and in between pictures they took measurements and marked areas. At one point they placed this thick, heavy, cold barrier on my chest. Dr. Brower said I will be wearing this during radiation. It tricks the radiation beams in thinking they came in contact with my skin when really they came in contact with the barrier. Radiation takes time to take full effect so by the time it reaches my REAL skin it will be at 100%! It also means I will BURN and look like a lobster lol! 🦐 But I’d rather that then not get the full effect of radiation. I got 4 tattoos that look like freckles. OMG.. IT HURT SO BAD!! The amount of pain I went through I should’ve ended up with a massive dragon across my chest! LOL! I couldn’t believe it! Especially the needle that goes right in the middle of your sternum! ahhhhh! No fat there… not pleasant lol! 

I start radiation this Wednesday! Im not nervous at all and excited to get started. Honestly I don’t think I am scared of anything anymore. Chemo nearly killed me so everything else seems like a breeze. I also have so much clarity thanks to Dr. Brower!! I feel confident in my decision to have radiation done which makes me feel so good. I am also over the moon happy to know this is the last stage of treatment!!!!

My BIL Joey Bolduc teaches a trampoline class on Tuesday nights. I went for the first time with my cousins Alicia & Beth last week and we had an absolute blast! I surprised myself and ended up doing gymnastics! Gymnastics has always been a way to release stress and clear my mind. It got me through a lot (you know high school drama and frizzy hair problems haha)! I’m so glad I got back into though. It’s such a great workout and will help me mentally down the road as well 🙂  

Jamie is doing good! He’s still using the crutches but able to weight bare and hopefully start driving this week 👍

Talk soon!!
KPOW

January 3, 2019

Hi everyone! Hope you guys had a wonderful Christmas and New year!!! Mine was truly perfect. It was filled with family parties, laughter, hugs, happy tears and lots of junk food (I gained 6 pounds… totally wish I was kidding but I’m not LOL). 

I really enjoyed taking a mental break from the whole “cancer” thing. I was beyond frustrated as I felt like no one was on the same page in regards to radiation and what the next step should be. The tumor board felt like it wasn’t necessary, Dr. Patel said she wasn’t sure (which I totally respect her honesty), and my oncologist was saying I needed it but was unable to give me a good reason why. I was so annoyed and stressed out! I’m so glad I said “Kel you need a break.. we will figure it out in January” 🙂

I met with Dr. Brower at Elliot Hospital yesterday. He is an oncologist who specializes in radiation. He is relatively young, easy to talk to, patient, kind, and very smart. He went into detail the reasons he felt radiation was necessary and even used the bed paper as a huge notepad to draw out diagrams and pictures so we would better understand. I cried two times during the meeting!! I was just so happy to finally get answers and CLARITY! Something I really needed in order to make this decision. He spent over an hour with us so I couldn’t possibly give all the details but this is the short version… My current recurrence rate is 6-12%. Radiation will decrease that by 50%!! He said because of my age, large tumor and high grade (meaning it grows/spreads quickly), he said my risk is higher than most. He also mentioned that even though my margins were technically negative there is NO possible way to know that for sure. Mom mentioned doing a PET scan but he said that wouldn’t pick up individual cancer cells that we would be looking for. He said we are taking the risk as you might be cancer free right now, BUT for some reason if there is even just ONE cancer cell that remains it WILL multiply and it WILL grow. There are risks to having radiation. The biggest one is developing a new type of cancer. The Xray beams (radiation) will be going across my chest and hitting ribs, lung & skin. There is only a 1-2% chance every 20 years of this occurring though. He said radiation could soften the bone so if I were hit hard I could possibly get a rib fracture. Fatigue and a sunburn to the area are the most common side effects. Radiation will be 5 1/2 weeks, Monday through Friday. He explained that we are somewhat crunched for time as radiation needs to start within 20 weeks of surgery or it won’t be as effective. I asked how time would make a difference and he said “lets just say there is 1 cancer cell left right now. If we radiate now you are only fighting 1 cell instead of possibly 100 6 weeks from now”. He said Dr. Burdette (my reconstructive breast surgeon) would like to put the implants in first because research has shown that putting them in first will increase your rate of keeping them in the future and not failing. We would then need to wait 6 weeks for recovery and then start radiation. I was like WAIT… what do YOU think is best. I said YOUR opinion is what matters right now. Cancer needs to come first, cosmetics second. He said his opinion would be to start sooner than later. He said now that I know where you’re coming from I will talk to Dr. Burdette and see if he would be willing to put the implants in after radiation. I know my risk of implants working will lessen but if I am going to go through with this I need it to WORK and work well. We left his office and I just felt GOOD. Literally 5 minutes down the road Dr. Brower called me and told me he spoke with Dr. Burdette and he is willing to wait. I was so impressed how quickly he got back to me. My “medical team” now feels complete 😊 Thank you Dr. Brower!!!

So I have an appointment on Tuesday to do a SIM and measurements. I am assuming radiation will start shortly after this!! 

PS. Nimbus9 (my brother-in-laws band) will be playing at The Derryfield Country Club on Saturday January 19th at 9:30pm to benefit me!! Thank you sister for putting this event together. I feel very blessed and thankful that the band and venue is willing to do this for us. We will be receiving 1/2 the cover charge which is absolutely amazing! Nimbus9 is beyond talented and always put on an AMAZING show! Come and dance with me and WEAR PINK 🙂 

December 14, 2018

Hi everyone!!

The rollercoaster continues. On Wednessday when Dr. Patel called to tell me the tumor board didn’t think radiation was necessary I also saw Dr. Bonnem/my oncologist the same day who believes I need it 100%. UGH! It would be so nice if everyone could get on the same page lol!

I have spent a lot of time thinking, researching, worrying, and driving myself crazy not knowing what the right decision would be going forward. I decided I need a HOLIDAY BREAK from all this hoopla 😬😬! I am going to enjoy the holidays with my family and put this on hold till January 2nd when I see my radiologist/oncologist. And that’s that!

PS- Recovery is going well! My range of motion in my left arm is pretty much back to normal but I have horrible range of motion in my right arm. Hurts to straighten and reach for things. But started physical therapy at home so that should help! I kept Andi home the past 2 days which was so nice. We had some “girl time” which was so needed! Hope to get little Zacky back by next week. Boy do I miss him!!! Reconstruction is also going well.. I actually have boobs! I mean they don’t look like Mariah Carey’s (so random Bahaha not even sure why she came to mind) LOL but they look better than I thought! They first expanded with air and then just added saline a few days ago 👏 Woohoo!

HAVE A WONDERFUL HOLIDAY EVERYONE! 
”Believe in the magic of Christmas” 🌲 

KPOW